SUCCULENT GIFT CARD

INSTANT LOVE-DELIVERY-VESSEL

SOLD OUT

Denominations$70

At long last…GIFT CARDS!

What can I say about gift cards? I mean, for starters, these aren’t actual gift cards; they are digital…So, Earth: 1 — Pollution: 0. Yeah, suck on that, Exxon Mobile. Secondly, imagine the look on your gift-receiver’s face when they get this—a representation of a gift card, which is itself an abstraction of money, but this money they cannot spend freely, no, they have to spend it on a reconceptualisation of meat, which is, in the end, a reflection of your undying love.

Now, THAT'S a f*cking gift.

SEND AS GIFT

When you send a Succulent Gift Card as a—wait for it—gift, the recipient will immediately get an email with a beautiful artistic rendition of their gift card, along with their unique discount code and your custom message, if you choose to include one. You will also get receipt for your purchase in your inbox.


ADD TO CART

Choose this option if you want the gift card sent to YOUR inbox…Why would you do this? Perhaps you want to keep it a secret until the opportune moment. Or, maybe you just want to send yourself something nice that you’ll actually like, instead of the random shit your in-laws get you every year that makes you seriously question if they even like you.

How does the gift card work?

Each gift card comes with a unique code. The gift-receiver can apply their code on any order at checkout. If they don’t spend their entire balance, they can use the remaining cash on their next order by using the same code.


When does it expire?

1 year after the purchase date.


Limited to specific products?

Nope! Your meat-cup runneth over.


How to check my balance?

Open the email you got when you received your gift card and click the link that says “View gift card balance.”

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