We’re committing culinary crimes here, and damn it feels good. This dish smashes fine dining into couch cuisine, pairing a rich green peppercorn sauce with the golden, greasy joy of frozen French fries. The sauce? A scandal. We sneak in soy sauce (sorry, France) for an umami punch, but redeem ourselves with whiskey or bourbon. Pickled green peppercorns add a spicy, fruity slap to the senses. No brined ones? Just be your own waiter and crack some dried pepper over the top. Ready in the time it takes for your fries to crisp, this meal is a tuxedo with sneakers—effortless, elegant, and deliciously devious. Cook for one, or multiply if you’re feeling generous (or seductive).